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Creativity Personal

Jump Starting a Car – Take #2

So, I wrote my last blog post “Jump Starting a Car” hoping it’d I could bring some momentum back to this blog. I published it a few days back and shared it several days afterwards. But I wrote it back in November.

I didn’t make good on the intentions I set in that post and on 30th December, on the cusp of a New Year I started writing this blog post.

I want to get back to this blog. I want to get back to just writing for the joy of it and sharing it with people. I want to get back to the freedom that comes with not being attached with the outcome of my writing.

After almost 3 years of consistent procrastination I began blogging in February 2020. It was one of the most surprisingly satisfying creative experiences I’ve had.

In my last post I set an intention. I’d share more of my old published work and that I’d write more new work. Not only did I not do that, but as I’ve admitted here, I wrote that back in November and didn’t even publish it until the end of December. I wasn’t brave enough to share it until the first week of January 2021.

Periodically in 2020 I’ve shifted between these 3 states:

1.) Writing, publishing and sharing my work.
2.) Writing, but not publishing and sharing my work.
3.) Not writing at all.

I need to get better at publishing and sharing my work. It’s not good enough to just write a draft in long hand in my notepad. It needs to go onto this blog almost immediately.

Often I just refuse to publish and share as there’s usually something I’ve promised in the blog post. Sometimes it’s a companion piece or a follow up blog post.

I’m scared to publish the first piece of work that has already been drafted as I’m scared of letting myself and others down by not following through on the next piece of work.

I promise I’ll publish and share work I’ve written in the past year (and beyond in some cases).

I’ve overcome a huge internal barrier just by starting this blog back in February 2020. For the first time ever I’ve published and shared my work.

But I’m still wrestling with fear.

I’m still scared to share my writing if it’s not perfect.

I make references in my work to follow up pieces I’ll create and then I don’t publish the original work. It’s because I’m scared of not delivering the follow up. It’s a madness.

And so what if I don’t…at least to begin with or ever…It can’t be worse than holding back work that’s already complete.

Seth Godin is right. Not sharing creative work is utterly selfish.

Letting my fear and ego get in the way of sharing creative work that could help others is selfish.

That’s the opposite of why I write and create art.

Time to get over myself and to get back to creating and sharing.

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