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Personal

Living With Autism and ADHD

I have autism and ADHD. I’m 40 years old and I received my diagnosis for both conditions when I was 39 years old. I won’t pretend to be a guru about either condition. I’m doing my best to furiously sprint up an insanely steep learning curve to understand both conditions. Both neurodiverse brain types have […]

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Personal

I Struggle With Adult Life

Quick note: This was written and drafted on July 30th, 2020. It’s taken me this long to let go and just share this piece. Here it is: I’m lying in bed right now and I’m unable to sleep. In the morning I’ll wake up and it’ll be the last complete day I spend with my […]

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Creativity

Navigating Depression and ADHD as a Creative

It’s 7am. I’m getting up. Doesn’t sound unusual. Thing is, I went down for a nap at 6pm yesterday. I was tired. Again, sounds normal and reasonable. I have long Covid. I tested positive for Covid early December 2020. I was extremely ill for 2 weeks. It’s now the middle of May 2021. I’m still […]

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Creativity Personal

oh baby..revisited

I love surprises! Don’t you? I especially love it when those surprises spring from the same well. “oh baby” by LCD Soundsystem. It’s a sublime song. I spoke about the joy of hearing it for the first time in my last post. Another thing that gives me joy is storytelling. Particularly visual storytelling. Films, long […]

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Creativity Personal

oh baby

I love surprises! Don’t you? With my head hunched down at my laptop in a trendy office I hummed “oh baby….” The sounds of hypnotic synths travelled through the room. “What song is this?” I asked my colleague. “It’s ‘oh baby’ by LCD Soundsystem” she replied. For decades I’ve struggled with dissociation*. I’ve found it […]

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Journalling Personal

It’s Ok to Not Be OK…

I’ve been grappling with what to write lately. Part of me has wanted to write a review of the year so far. Part of me wants to tackle my mental health challenges and where I’m at currently with it. Or maybe I write about both? I’m just going to write until I’ve emptied myself, then I’ll […]

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Personal

Chemicals In My Brain Are Liars

*Trigger warning* *Contains references to suicide* This has been one of the most incredible weeks of my life. I opened my heart to someone special. I did it without wanting anything in return, other than the desire for a more honest friendship. I poemed the fucking shit™ out of people. I grew closer to my daughter.  […]

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Writing

The Best Time To Start Writing Is Now

I’ve been putting off writing this blog. The idea for this blog first emerged early in 2017. It was going to be called “Finding Haroon” Back then seismic shifts were happening in my life. Namely: 1.) I admitted to myself that I had mental health issues and sought professional help. 2.) I ended my 10-year […]